The Scars That Define Us Read online

I get out and hear Parker leaving the car, as well. I turn a little, surprised; I thought the night was over.

  “Would you like me to walk you to your door?” he asks, walking closely to me.

  “No. I’ll be fine,” I tell him, taking a step toward the sidewalk.

  Parker suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me toward him. His face inches from mine, he leans forward slowly and kisses my lips tenderly. His touch is so soft, I’m not sure if he is actually kissing me, so I open my eyes.

  “Goodnight, Danielle,” he says sweetly.

  “Goodnight, Parker,” I reply stunned.

  I make my way up to the apartment, the entire night playing on repeat in my mind. Parker is some prince charming. He’s kind and sweet, yet I don’t find myself head over heels for him. His touch is too soft, like he’s afraid I’ll break, and his money doesn’t impress me.

  I open the door and walk into the apartment, which smells of pizza and beer. I find the smell inviting rather than the smell of expensive wine and leather I just encountered. Bobby walks into the room, coming from the balcony.

  “That’s not how you kiss a woman,” he says, with a smirk.

  Oh, shit.

  “How was the date with Pretty Boy?” Bobby asks, plopping down on the couch.

  “Eh, fine,” I answer, taking my heels off.

  “You don’t sound too impressed,” Bobby suggests.

  “I don’t know. He’s handsome and sweet; maybe too sweet. I don’t know why I’m not crazy about him; he would be a total catch. Maybe I just need to go into it slowly. This whole thing with Shadow is going to take time to overcome,” I say, sitting down next to Bobby.

  Bobby snorts. “That’s going to take you a lifetime, Firefly.”

  I grab the beer from his hand and take a sip with a questioning look on my face.

  “You won’t ever fall for that guy; he’s a sissy. I saw the look on your face when he kissed you. You want someone to grab you by your hair and kiss you like they mean it,” Bobby speculates, snatching the beer from my hands. I refuse to believe that, even if it may be true.

  I stand up and grab the beer from Bobby’s hand forcefully, nearly spilling it on his lap. “No, I was just shocked is all.” I was shocked, but I didn’t enjoy the kiss. There was no spark, no craving of hope that Parker would take it farther.

  “Whatever you have to tell yourself,” Bobby hollers as I walk down the hall.

  WALKING OUT OF MY room this morning, I notice the club is littered with red cups and the smell of stale beer is overwhelmingly sickening. I partied alone, debating if I should go see Dani or not. I didn’t go; she wouldn’t want to see me. I have so much aggression built up, my beast craving the spill of blood, and my confusion with Dani doesn’t help. My emotions and thoughts have been so out of control here lately. I can literally feel my ends fraying for the control I so desperately crave. I head toward the garage to lift weights, get my blood pumping.

  I lay on my back and lift, the weights so heavy I feel the burn in my biceps instantly. Having pain somewhere other than my chest is welcoming. After about four sets, I hear boots thudding my way against the thick pavement.

  I look over and see Bobby sit on some cinder blocks and lift weights with his left arm.

  “Heard Dani got the job. You guys go celebrate or some shit?” I question as I continue to lift, the thought I should have been there to celebrate with her overbearing the pain in my biceps. Hell, it was me who got her the fucking job; as soon as I got back to the clubhouse after the strip club I called in a favor. I told Mila I would bail her mother out of jail and put her in rehab if she gave Dani a job. Mila and I go way back, and she herself has some drug tendencies but it’s not as severe as her mother’s addiction. I haven’t fucked Mila, either; she’s too much of a bitch for my taste. We just went to school together. Well, for the time I did go to school anyway.

  “Yeah. Firefly is wild,” Bobby says, laughing. I clench my teeth in anger; I trust Bobby but I don’t like him around Dani.

  “Good for her,” I clip.

  Bobby eyes me from the side. “You still on that trip about her being a threat, huh?”

  “Nothing’s changed for me to believe otherwise,” I wheeze, out of breath as I lift the weights. I want Dani, but it’s as if I have OCD and won’t allow myself to have her until I know she’s telling the truth.

  “I knew you were going to fuck this up. That girl ain’t going to be one of those who sits around and waits for you to figure your shit out,” Bobby informs upon standing, his tone giving away how irritated he is.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” I ask, setting the weights in its original spot.

  “Dani went on a date,” Bobby replies with a smile, his tone of annoyance gone.

  I stand, immediately pissed. “What?”

  “You heard me. She met some guy at that ballet job, and he picked her up last night. Fucker is loaded with money and is fancy as shit,” Bobby quips, rubbing his hands through his hair.

  My jaw shoots with pain. It’s clenched to the point I’m about to crush my teeth.

  “Why’d you let her go on a date?” I demand. Dani is a threat to the club; she should be going to work and home, nowhere else.

  “I didn’t know I was supposed to tie her to the bed and hold her captive. I’m sorry,” Bobby says sarcastically, pissing me off more.

  “She’s a threat to the club; she shouldn’t be going anywhere!” I yell. “She could talk,” I remind him.

  Bobby scoffs like I’ve just said the most ridiculous thing.

  “Well, she’s going to lunch with him today,” Bobby continues with a smirk. “Besides, considering you’ve already thrown her to the side, I think its best she gets as far away from you as possible.” Bobby puffs his chest out, readying himself for my anger.

  “I told her it was a good idea,” he shrugs.

  I squeeze my fists closed with anger. How the hell is he going to encourage her to leave me?

  “From the looks of that kiss last night, I’d rethink—”

  Before I let him finish his sentence, I bash my fist into the side of his jaw as hard as I can muster. My force makes him stumble back, and my fist begins to radiate with pain.

  “Fuck!” Bobby yells, grabbing his jaw, moving it side to side. “What the hell, man?”

  I can’t take the thought of Dani with someone else; she can’t move on. I can’t handle the idea that someone kissed her, and most of all, I can’t accept the thought that Bobby encouraged her.

  I thrust my fist into his gut, making him double over coughing. The anger of the situation has me thinking irrationally. I turn away from him, throw both my hands on my head, and take a steady breath.

  “Who is this prick?” I ask Bobby.

  “His name is Parker. He drives an Aston Martin and is supposed to pick her up for lunch today,” Bobby wheezes.

  “Why did you let her go? Why didn’t you tell me before?” I question.

  “You made it clear you didn’t want Dani!” Bobby hollers, hunched over.

  “Has anyone else come near her, laid a fucking finger on her?” I question, my voice wavering with anger.

  Bobby looks towards the ground, his hesitation making me nervous, and pissing me off more.

  “What aren’t you telling me?” I ask.

  “It was nothing, but I helped Dani put lotion on her burnt back and my hand slid against her tit.”

  My body rises with uncontrollable anger and my heart skips a beat trying to keep up with the amount of fury pulsing through me.

  “I feel terrible about it, man. I shouldn’t have crossed that line, I think of Dani like a sister.” Bobby looks down at the ground shaking his head.

  I can’t help but throw a punch right into his guilt ridden face, his head snapping back as he takes the blow. I grab him by the head and loop my arm around his neck into a head lock, my arm constricting around his neck.

  “I never un-laid claim to her as my ol’ lady,” I yell. Law is, an ol’
lady is yours unless you un-lay claim to her. She doesn’t have a say in the matter; nobody does.

  Bobby suddenly kicks me behind the knees, making my legs buckle and causing me to fall hard on my ass. I stand, ready to kill the fucker, but am stopped short from his fist slamming into the side of my eye. My vision goes bright white for a second as a ringing screams in my ear from the impact. I use the back of my hand to wipe the blood gushing from my eyebrow and glare at Bobby.

  Bobby stands, huffing.

  “What the fuck are you thinking, Shadow?” he asks, out of breath. “You’re out fucking around on her, claiming she’s an enemy, but won’t let her go.” He shrugs in confusion.

  I look at the ground. His words are true, but if I can’t have Dani, nobody can.

  “I get that you pulled away because you might have had to choose the club over Dani, if she was in fact a threat—”

  “I did choose the club over Dani,” I interrupt, my actions at doing so weighing heavy on my conscience.

  “But this underlying-trust bullshit you got going on has got to go, brother,” Bobby finishes.

  I look away, knowing he’s right, and I hate him even more for it. I love Dani, and I hate that I love her at the same time. I squint my eyes, the pain from my cut eyebrow starting to rise.

  “She still loves you, ya know,” Bobby advises, eyeing me from the side.

  I scoff at his remark. Fuck love.

  “The only reason she’s with this guy is because he’s a rebound. She seems repulsed by him.” Bobby’s admission makes me see red, but the thought Dani might still have some kind of feelings for me is replacing my anger with hope. Maybe she is trying to move on but can’t. I can relate.

  “Why would I care?” I ask, trying to get a hold of myself. Bobby looks at me with a cocky smile, knowing I do care and it’s pissing me off. I growl in frustration. I can’t get over the idea Dani has tried to move on; it hurts more than anything I have ever felt before. I would rather be with Dani and have her tear my heart out by ratting on me than live in this pain without her. I can’t live with the idea of running into her on the street somewhere with another man. I know deep inside, in this exact moment, I would turn against the club to protect Dani if needed, making me feel like a traitor to my own brotherhood. If I have to choose Dani over the club, it could get me killed.

  “You’re fucking lucky I don’t have my pistol, or I would shoot you in the dick,” I say, pointing to his crotch.

  “Why’s that?” Bobby asks, his tone exasperated.

  “You betrayed me,” I mutter.

  “You fucked up, and you know it. Dani didn’t have anything to do with her mother and yet you cast her to the side,” he declares, squaring his shoulders. “She deserves to move forward. It’s not her fault you’re so fucked up you can’t see a good thing when it’s standing in front of you!” he yells.

  Fuck him. If I had my gun, I would really have fucking shot him.

  SHADOW

  I watch Parker pick up Dani from the apartment for lunch. The entire time, I’m gripping the handlebars of my motorcycle with such force my knuckles are white. I swear to God, if he kisses her, I’ll shoot him. I park across from the sandwich shop where he takes Dani to lunch, I’m waiting for them to leave. I pull my phone out and look at the time; they’ve been in there for thirty minutes. How long does it take to eat a fucking sub sandwich?

  I look up and see them leaving, finally. He’s dressed in a suit, and his hair is swept to the back. He looks like someone who should be with Dani; there is no denying she deserves better than me. Dani looks beautiful, as always, wearing ripped jeans and a sexy, red top. My body vibrates with hostility just seeing them together. He reaches over and grabs Dani’s hand. I can see her body stiffen and her face go pale. The idea of her uncomfortable with his guy makes me smile. She’s not moving on. She’s just trying to trick her mind into thinking she is. Parker reaches over and opens the car door for Dani, letting her slide in. What a pussy! I would have at least slapped her ass before she got in.

  He rounds the car and adjusts his junk, wearing a smug look on his face. He doesn’t seem very mannered at the moment; he’s faking this whole gentlemen act. He climbs into the car and slowly pulls onto the road. I start my bike and follow. What does Dani see in this prick? I stay a few car lengths back so I’m not noticed and watch him drop Dani at the apartment. I can’t see inside the car because I’m so far back, but that’s probably a good thing. Usually when you drop a date off, you kiss them goodbye. I stare at the black car, waiting for her to get out. I groan heavily and look up at the sky. Stalking an ex-girlfriend, what a new low for me.

  Dani leaves the car and nearly runs toward the front door of the apartment building. “Here we go,” I mutter. I start my bike and follow Parker onto the road. I would go inside and shake Dani like a rag doll, asking what the fuck she’s thinking, but I’m intrigued by this Parker. He darts off onto the highway and off the exit ramp; there is nothing on this side of town but bars and strip clubs. Not something I peg for Mr. Fancy. He parks in the Dirty Barrels parking lot and gets out. I sit on my bike and watch, interested what his kind would be doing at such a cheap bar. I figured him more for a cocktails and Bloody Mary kind of fucker.

  After ten minutes has passed, he comes out with a brunette, who staggers and sways as she walks toward the parking lot. He points to his car and the drunk girl lights up. She walks faster toward it and starts to run her hand over the hood. He comes up behind her and grabs on her backside, making the girl arch her ass into him. He grabs her wrists and jerks her toward the passenger car door, opens it and pushes her into the back seat with force before climbing in. I sigh and look off into the distance. This asshole is not who Dani thinks he is, and I’ll be damned if I let him near her.

  After ten minutes of the car rocking, the door opens and the girl is pushed out. She stumbles onto the dirty parking lot, rolling on her back; she’s really drunk. Parker gets out, pulling his pants the rest of the way up before using his foot to roughly roll the girl a few feet from his car. He then climbs in his car and takes off, throwing dirt and gravel on the girl. I shake my head and put my helmet back on before following. He heads toward the nice side of town, where the houses are big and you’re paying for who your neighbors are rather than the quality of a house. When he pulls into a driveway, I pull over and watch him enter a circle drive. His house is huge and can be seen from the road; there is no denying he’s got money.

  ***

  I wait by the car, leaning against it with my legs crossed in front. I’m going to ensure he never sees Dani again.

  About an hour after he went in, Parker leaves his house and walks toward the car I’m waiting by.

  “Get off my car, asshole,” he yells, pointing his briefcase at me.

  I look behind me at the car then back at him. “You mean this car?” I taunt.

  “Yes, that car,” he says, his tone irritated. I smirk and walk forward, my steps ones of a deadly promise.

  “If you don’t leave my property now, I’m calling the police,” he snarls. His forehead starts to sweat, causing his hair to curl around his forehead. As soon as he’s within reach, I grab him by the back of his head and pull him close.

  “The police can’t save you, pretty boy,” I grit out, my teeth clenched with anger. I tighten my grip on the back of his neck and walk him to his car with force. With a violent thrust, I plow his face into the side mirror. His face breaks the mirror completely off, making him howl in pain. His body crashes to the ground, his face bloody and his nose probably broken.

  “What do you want from me? You want money? I can get you money!” he pleads, holding his bleeding nose. I tilt my head to the side and laugh. Then kick him in the gut as hard as I can. He grunts in pain and starts coughing.

  “I think you would do well to stay away from what’s mine,” I sneer, pulling him up by his gelled hair. His mangled face looks up at me as I threaten him. I throw him across the hood of his car, the weight of his bo
dy denting it as he tumbles off the hood. I walk around, not finished.

  “She came on to me, asked if we could fool around in the back of my car,” he justifies, talking about the girl he messed with earlier.

  “I’m not talking about that girl, but you should be kicked in the head for that. Were you going to treat Dani like that?” I snap.

  “Dani?” he questions. His eyes take on a confused look before brightening. “You mean Danielle.” He looks at the ground and shakes his head. “I should have known,” he mumbles. “No, that’s why I found some nobody at a bar.” He pauses and wipes the blood from his face with a handkerchief. “I wouldn’t hurt Danielle.” Dani’s name in his mouth has me pouring with hatred for this fucker.

  “Tisk, tisk. You should know, she’s Devil’s Dust property,” I inform him. I grab him by his collar and drag him to his feet. “You will stay away from her and never talk to her again,” I demand.

  “Danielle is big enough to decide for herself who she wants to be with,” Parker states, his voice calm. I tried to be nice in giving him the option to leave her alone.

  I grab him by his shirt and pull him close. “Wrong answer, asshole.”

  I pull my fist back and slam it into his eye, marking his face with the impact of my hand.

  “Okay. Okay. I won’t talk to her again. Let’s just go back and think things through,” he says pathetically. He’s a liar. First chance he gets, he’ll be back sniffing on Dani’s trail like a predator.

  I pull his face close to mine. “There’s no going back,” I whisper.

  I grab him by the throat and slam his head into the passenger-side window, the force shattering the glass as he falls to the ground, unconscious. I pull my gun from my holster and aim it at the back of his head. As my finger touches the trigger, I hear a shrill scream come from his house. I look over and see a frantic old woman dressed as a maid eyeing me with fear.

  Shit. I put my gun back in its holster and hastily walk back to my bike. I’ve gotten sloppy; Dani has made me unfocused and careless at what I do best. I look behind me before pulling off and see the little old lady running out to Parker’s limp body.