Love Tap Read online

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  Connect with M.N. Forgy

  Copyright © 2016 M.N. Forgy

  Edited by Ellie McLove

  Cover Photography Sara Eirew

  Proofed by Kim Ginsberg

  Formatted by Elaine York, Allusion Graphics LLC/Publishing & Book Formatting

  All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.

  Dedication

  I dedicate this book in memory of my grandma and grandpa.

  They are the toughest people I know, and fought until the very end.

  Life is a fight, but love is a war.

  Prologue

  Sitting at my desk I chew on the end of my pen waiting for Professor Kelly to finish writing on the whiteboard. This class always drags and it being at noon I’m always hungry halfway through.

  Bored I trace the words stenciled into the top of my desk with my index finger.

  ‘Lick it before you stick it.’

  Where do people even come up with this stuff?

  “I love how her hand erases half of what she writes as she moves across the board,” Keegan whispers next to me, bringing my attention from my tracing to Professor Kelly. Sure enough, the sentence on the left is half wiped off as she continues to write along the board.

  Keegan is the only person I talk to here at UCLA. I don’t know if I would call her a friend, more of a roommate and study partner. College isn’t any different than high school and I’d rather stay to myself. If you’re making friends then you’re a part of the drama. Who is screwing who, drugs, and mean girls, it’s a vicious circle.

  Keegan and I click because she’s different. She has tattoos covering her arms and hands, and collects everything unicorn. Not to mention I love her outlook on life. She could care less what people think of her. She’s carefree and it scares people.

  “Jacki, do you have your piece ready?” Professor Kelly asks.

  Jacki who sits in front of me clears her throat, sitting straight in her seat.

  “I’m just about done. I’m waiting for the owner of the restaurant to call me back,” Jacki replies.

  I’m majoring in journalism. I figured if I can’t do what I love, I’ll do what comes next. Writing about it.

  “Tatum, what about you?”

  I freeze.

  “Yes, my piece is done,” I lie. I haven’t even started. Professor Kelly smiles at me, knowing I wouldn’t disappoint. Little does she know every piece I give her is done last minute.

  Jacki turns in her seat and eyes me with her fake green contacts. Here she goes. For some reason I am always the target of her bullying. I think it’s because a guy she was interested in sat next to me two classes ago. After ignoring him, he got the hint and moved back to the front of the class.

  Either way, Jacki’s antics get old. I usually just ignore her. What is sad is she used to be friendly. Then she started sleeping with everyone and her ego became as big as the hole between her legs.

  “Why do you dress like trash? It’s like, an embarrassment to the graduating class.” Her friends laugh and she smiles, proud of herself.

  “Ignore them,” Keegan mutters.

  I always do.

  Professor Kelly sits at her desk to work through the articles for the school paper, wasting the last ten minutes of class. Kicking my backpack out from under my seat I pull out my book and start to get lost in the pages of dragons and zombies.

  “You know nobody has called me back?” Keegan interrupts my reading.

  “All those applications, and not one news station has called. I should just give up, maybe I can be a maid,” she continues, and I know she’s about to go on her rant. I should give up reading, when she gets like this there’s no stopping her. Not one to give up, I narrow my brows to indicate I’m in some deep reading. “Ooh, I could be a sex maid. You know, the ones where I pretend to clean your house but then we have sex?”

  I laugh, giving up on trying to read my book and close it.

  “Yes, I know the kind. But don’t give up. The right job will call you back. Besides, you hate giving head and I’m pretty sure that will be a requirement when you’re a sex maid.”

  “Shit, you’re right.” She sags in her seat like I just ruined her life goals.

  “Speaking of shit, did you buy that bag from someone homeless?” Jacki flips her blonde hair over her shoulder as she eavesdrops. “I bet your mother is embarrassed to have you as a daughter, I mean, did you get your hair done by a hobo?” she continues to insult.

  Something inside of me I thought was dead suddenly ignites, swimming through my veins like a wild fire as I pin Jacki with a stare.

  “You should probably shut your mouth while you’re ahead,” I warn. Keegan looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. I’ve never reacted to Jacki’s insults. Today, though… I’ve had enough.

  “Aww, did I hit a nerve?” Jacki laughs. Closing my eyes I try to push through the violence wanting to be released. “Do you even have a mother, or did she just give up when she had you?” She throws her head back and laughs, revealing the trashy pink lipstick that’s smeared on her teeth.

  Anger thrusts through my arms and my hands curl into fists. I’m going to lose it. I’m going to lose my temper and become irate, right here.

  “I need to get out of here.” I shove my book in my bag and stand, trying to leave before something horrible surfaces. I have been able to overlook anything and everything that triggers my temper, but my mom… that is one I clearly can’t overcome.

  “Aw look, you made her leave.” One of Jacki’s friends taunts. I don’t even remember her name. They all sound alike anyway. Jacki, Judy, Janet.

  “Good, maybe she can run back to her momma for some fashion advice,” Jacki continues.

  I stall staring at the double doors that lead out of the
auditorium.

  Just leave. Keep going.

  Closing my eyes, something I’ve suppressed for years breaks through its cage slamming full force in my chest.

  I drop my book bag, and turn on my heel.

  “What’d you say?”

  Sitting sideways in her seat, tapping her desk with a pencil, Jacki giggles.

  “You heard me, you’re a—”

  I don’t let her finish. I leap over her friend and grab Jacki by the throat, pulling her from her seat. She screams, her fake blonde hair flailing everywhere as I drag her across the desks to the aisle.

  The class screams with excitement as I drop Jacki like the sack of shit she is. God I feel fantastic! Like a tiger at the zoo finally being released into the wild.

  I feel… alive. Day after day, I have sat in a chair behind a desk living a mundane boring life. Giving up on family, dreams, and most importantly, myself.

  Jacki stares back at me with mascara smeared eyes, the look of fear fueling me to continue. I smile, and strike her in the face, throwing her back on the stairs.

  But this, the violence, it’s what I long for.

  She wails, cupping her nose. “You crazy bitch!”

  Keegan jumps to her feet in her seat looking over Jacki laying in the aisle before looking up at me. “Holy shit!”

  “What is going on?” Professor Kelly jumps from her desk making her way up the stairs.

  “Run!” Keegan points at the double doors smiling just as big as I am.

  Stepping over Jacki, I grab my bag but stop as I look at Jacki who is only a foot from me.

  “Remember that next time you want to bully someone. Grow up.” I stand upright, shuffling my bag on my back, and I sprint out of class.

  Quickly, I make it to my dorm room and throw what I can into bags. Drawers left on the floor and my mattress overturned, I make a mess of the room. Keegan is going to kill me when she gets back. Swiping my phone off the shelf where we keep the Ramen noodles, a pair of scissors fall to the floor nearly spearing me in the foot and landing on a magazine. I stare at the beautiful blonde on the front of the cover. I took this magazine into the mall months ago trying to imitate the model’s makeup. Hundreds of dollars later and I didn’t feel any prettier. I tried to fit into the LA lifestyle, I really tried but I’m just different. I don’t care about fashion, or chick flicks, or the so called normal shit that girls my age should like. If LA can’t turn me into a prima donna, then nobody can.

  I glance up finding Keegan’s giant mirror with unicorn and mermaid stickers plastered all over it, my reflection looking back at me. My painted eyes and fake blush looking ridiculous on me.

  Grabbing a couple of Kleenex I rub at my face, pressing as hard as I can to rub the shit off my eyelids and cheeks until my skin is near raw.

  I’m done pretending.

  Dropping the makeup smeared tissues to the floor I grab my bags and glance at the trashed room one last time.

  My heart beats wildly as I flush my journalism career down the drain.

  This isn’t what I wanted anyway.

  I don’t want to report about the best fighters in the world.

  I want to be one.

  Chapter One

  Tate

  Gripping the steering wheel my hands begin to break in a nervous sweat. The setting sun casts an orange glow along the horizon and blinds my already stinging blood shot eyes. The countless miles and hours of driving wearing me thin. The sign for Chicago finally comes into view and I sag into my seat with relief.

  My home.

  Finally.

  My chest constricts as I enter the city, my sudden unease slightly waking me from my catatonic state.

  I’ve been driving off and on for two days now, and I’m more than ready for a shower and a warm bed. Easing my way into the north side, my hands begin to tremble and my heart rate picks up. I knew coming back home wouldn’t be easy.

  I moved to California four years ago for college. Sure I flew back home for Christmas, but I always had a return flight back, and quickly. When I left home I left behind heartache, and I thought forgetting would be best for everyone. I was wrong though, because here I am… driving right back into it all.

  Tall sky scrapers greet me as pedestrians without any common sense try and race to the other side of the road.

  Pulling my phone out, I text Chloe. She’s a childhood friend who is the same age as me; twenty-one. She’s the only one I’ve stayed in touch with over the years.

  Almost there – T

  Shoving the phone into the cup holder I wait at a red light and wipe my sweaty palms on my jean shorts.

  “Jesus, get a grip, Tate,” I whisper anxiously.

  Picking my phone back up, I notice Chloe texted back.

  I can’t wait!!!! -C

  You didn’t tell anyone I was coming did you? -T

  No. –C

  That’s a relief.

  A horn sounds from behind me, making me jump in my seat. Scowling, I glance in my side mirror and see some asshole flipping me the bird from the window of a blue pickup truck.

  I forgot how pushy people can be here. “I’m definitely back in Chicago,” I mumble to myself.

  Driving to my old neighborhood I can’t help but rub at my forehead, and chew on my lip. The street is lined with familiar bungalow houses. They are set so close to one another that I remember being able to see into our neighbor’s windows when I was a kid. Chicago can have a bad rep for violence and gangs, but looking at this suburb where I grew up, you’d never know it.

  I pass the old tree where I had my first kiss and the curb where I had my first bike wreck before reaching Chloe’s house.

  Putting my Explorer in park, I take a sip of my water that is now warm, needing something to wet my suddenly dry mouth.

  Getting out of my car I can feel my heart beating in my temples. I can’t believe I’m back here. What was I thinking moving back?

  Chloe busts out of the front door of her house, her long dark curls bouncing everywhere as her heavy chest nearly gives her a black eye from the low cut shirt she’s wearing. She’s always been a looker, and I almost hate her for it. We’re yin and yang. She’s the girlie type, and I’m… well, I’m definitely not.

  Chloe attacks me with a giant hug that nearly takes us both down as her arms squeeze the breath out of me.

  “Ermigerd you’re here!” she screams, as she stomps her feet in excitement. Returning the love, I pull her into me and close my eyes. I’ve missed her, and as hard as it is for me to be here without a direct flight back to LA, I’m not going anywhere.

  “I am,” I whisper. Slowly, I peel my eyes open, and spot my father’s house. My eyes can’t help but drift to the house right next to it… the blue and white bungalow that I know all too well. Heartache, the one I was running from for so long, hits my chest so hard I feel light headed. Closing my eyes to catch my balance, images of the boy I used to love race behind my eyelids. Him hovering over me and laughing a perfect smile, his chest beaded with sweat, as his eyes gleamed with love. I can still see his blond hair falling into his eyes, as his boyish charm sank its claws into my soul. My heart does a double beat and my eyes water remembering it all. I still love him. I always will.

  Letting go of Chloe, I try to catch my breath and look at anything but that damn house. “Tell me you’re staying, that you aren’t going back.”

  Silently I nod, and readjust my ponytail. I left college and am not planning on going back. Not that I can, that ass whooping I gave Jacki probably got me expelled.

  I didn’t tell my father I quit either. It’ll crush him. If he heard I got into a fight, he’d probably crush me.

  “I’m staying,” I reaffirm.

  She twirls a long lock of her hair, and rests her bum against the hood of my car.

  “So you didn’t tell me much on the phone, why the sudden move? Did something happen?”

  I cross my arms, and try to remember when everything went wrong.

  “I just ca
n’t be that person anymore. The one that woke up and ran to classes I couldn’t care less about. To have to sit there and hear these girls talk about rainbow parties, and who gave who crabs first.” I roll my eyes remembering it all.

  Chloe laughs out loud, her eyes wide. “Rainbow parties! Do you know what that is?”

  I smile remembering how excited the girls in front of me would get when picking out their lip stick to blow as many guys as they could. I remember one guy complaining to Jacki about not wearing red next time, because his dick had looked like a red Popsicle for a week.

  “Yeah, I do now. I’m not sure if it’s brave of them or stupid.”

  “Puh-lease. You probably have some bright green lipstick hidden away just for those parties, giving half the football team a Green Lantern.” She winks awkwardly, her mouth hanging open. I can’t help but laugh.

  “Green isn’t really my color. I think I’m more of a red.” I purse my lips, and she shakes her head.

  “Seriously though, I had enough one day and just snapped on a bitch named Jacki. When my fist connected with her face I just realized I’d been living on auto pilot.” I pull at a random string on my shorts. Remembering how I would walk the streets of California feeling like a ghost. “I was miserable and refuse to do it a minute longer,” I sigh. Actually telling someone about everything that has been weighing on my mind the entire drive here feels like an elephant just raised its foot off my shoulders.

  “Yeah, well if you ask me you should have never left here. It’s not what you wanted, I knew that, you knew, and so did your dad. He should have never pushed it on you.” She purses her lips, kicking rocks in the driveway in thought. My chest feels heavy remembering my father pressuring me into college. How it was ‘right for me, and what my mother wanted’.

  I shrug. Peeking through my bangs I look at my father’s house. I feel like shit for not seeing him first… but I can’t, not yet. When he finds out I’m not going back, the first thing he’s going to do is get pissed, then try and pressure me back to school. I know it.

  “How has Dad been?”

  She folds her arms and looks down the street.