Relinquish Read online

  “I hope wherever we’re going, it’s not far.” Jayden laughs, tossing her crap into the backseat of the car. The seats are ripped up with stuffing spilling out, and the headliner is pinned up with tacks to keep it from falling on your head. She’s rough, but she was dirt-cheap.

  “My car has never let me down before. We’ll make it,” I encourage, lying to her face. This piece of shit is always letting me down, but I’d like to think that this one time, fate would lean a little on my side of things.

  ***

  As soon as we make it into town, my car stalls and smoke bellows from the hood.

  “Shit!” I scream, slamming my fists against the steering wheel. Sweat trickles down my back in my fit of anger against the dash.

  “We’ll have to make it on foot,” Jayden prompts, hopping out of the car and collecting her luggage from the back.

  I laugh mockingly. “And just where do you think we’ll go?” I question, my voice laced with anger as I grab my suitcase, too. “We live in Reno, and it’s the middle of the summer. This heat alone will kill us!” I throw my hands out wildly, my eyes darting up the black street with a hazy steam of heat rising from the surface.

  “Umm.” Jayden hesitates, looking around us. “The bus station!” she squeals, pointing behind us. I turn and look the place over. The old, brick building has several big, black buses parked beside it.

  “You really think they’re going to let your ass on the bus? You’re wanted, Jayden,” I remind her, rolling my eyes. “Hell, I’m probably wanted now, too,” I huff.

  If I’m caught, who knows what shit I’ll be in for taking Jayden with me. But I couldn’t leave her behind. Sure, her eyes might hold this brightness, and that huge smile may fool others, but I can tell the difference between a real smile and a fake one. She’s lonely and scared, like me. She needed me, and I couldn’t turn my back on her. That’s a weakness of mine. I can’t turn away, even if I know it’s good for me.

  “The bus station is not like boarding a plane. All they want here is cash and for you to get out of their face. It’s worth a shot, Charlie.” Jayden doesn’t even wait for me to respond before she walks across the street toward the bus station, leaving me gawking behind her. She can’t venture off alone; who knows what could happen to her. It’s one thing for me to sleep on a park bench, but my conscience wouldn’t sit well with me if I let Jayden do the same.

  “Fine! Wait up!” I yell, running after her and abandoning my car on the side of the road. It’s such a pile of junk. I’m betting that, based on that loud knocking and smoke bellowing out of the hood, it would cost more to fix the car than I paid for the piece of shit.

  Entering the bus station, my body rises with goose bumps from all the eyes on us. The smell of exhaust fumes and sweaty bodies fills the space, and nothing but dirt and grime coats every surface it can find.

  “Everyone is staring at us,” I whisper to Jayden, my body vibrating with paranoia that everyone knows we’re running away.

  “No, they’re not. Chill,” she hisses, standing in line. “Where should we go?” She stands on her tiptoes trying to see the billboard that lists the locations of the loading buses. “The further we go, the more it’ll cost,” she states.

  I search the billboard for future departures, and Vegas is what catches my eye out of all of them. That’s where I was born, although I don’t know a lot about myself before I was placed into care. I know my mother’s name, Maria Evans, and that I was born in Las Vegas, but not much more. I sometimes have small memories of my mother from time to time, but nothing significant. Getting ice cream with her, her smile. Simple things.

  “I’m from Las Vegas,” I whisper, my eyes never leaving the sign as a feeling of despair rushes up my spine.

  “Oh, yeah?” Jayden laughs. “What? You wanna go find your parents or something?” She giggles, but I don’t. Truth is, I don’t even know where my mother is, or if she’s even alive. I was placed in care at the age of nine, and I’ve been told many things about my mother growing up. I was told she left me in an abandoned home, that she killed herself, that she overdosed. The list goes on. I was never told anything about a father, though, and I don’t remember one.

  Jayden looks over her shoulder at me, her bright smile fading quickly as she notices I’m not finding any humor in her questioning.

  “Shit. I’m sorry, Charlie.” She tilts her head to the side, and a look of sympathy wrinkles her beautiful face.

  “Nah, it’s okay,” I respond, mustering a smile and stepping up next in line.

  Waiting to get tickets, I can feel Jayden looking at me, wanting to ask me what happened to my parents and why I was placed in care. My story. It’s like going to prison, the whole ‘what are you in for’. It applies to jail as well as foster care sadly. I hate it and avoid it.

  “Next!” the man yells, grabbing Jayden’s attention and causing me to jump.

  I quickly step up and walk in front of Jayden. With her being underage and possibly on every cops’ radar in the city, she needs to lay low. Not that I being a fucking kidnapper is any better, but I can’t help the side of me that wants to protect Jayden from coming forth.

  “Two tickets to Vegas, please,” I request, digging in my suitcase for money. The guy eyes Jayden and me, a toothpick swirling in the corner of his mouth. He looks like he’s in his fifties, but I can’t really tell. His face is severely sunburnt, and his head is covered with a black ball cap.

  “You got some ID?” he questions, staring at us. His cheeks jiggle as he moves his jaw to talk.

  “I do, but my sister doesn’t. We’re supposed to meet our uncle in Vegas,” I lie. He rolls his eyes and nods, as if my ID will do, so I pull it out and hand it to him.

  He gives it back and takes the cash from the counter. My heart literally skips a beat in my chest that he believes us and is letting us on the bus. I can taste freedom it’s so close, causing me to want to piss myself with excitement.

  “Enjoy your ride, ladies,” he mumbles.

  Jayden and I find our seats on the hot bus and throw our crap in the seats next to us, noticing the bus isn’t nearly as full as some of the others. The seats are covered in a black fabric with streaks of rainbow stitched along them.

  Sitting next to the window, I watch cars drive by, praying a police car doesn’t pull up. I keep wishing everyone would hurry and get on the bus so we can get out of here.

  “So, how’d you wind up in care?” Jayden asks, sitting next to me. I sigh. I knew she was going to ask.

  “I don’t know,” I reply truthfully.

  “You don’t know? Where’s your parents?” she continues to question.

  “Not sure. Well, I mean, I never knew my father, but I know I had a mother. But things before being placed in care are just… fuzzy. It’s like my mind has blocked them out. Maybe it’s because I was only nine when I was placed in foster care that I can’t remember anything from before,” I mumble, still looking out the window.

  “Yeah, maybe. So, are you going to go look for your mom?” Jayden prods.

  “I’m not sure what would be worse: finding out my mother didn’t want me and left me for the wolves to devour, or that she’s dead. Either way, she’d be dead to me, so I would ultimately be chasing a ghost,” I mutter.

  I take my gaze from the window and look at Jayden, her bronzed skin glistening from sweat and her gray eyes staring at me strongly.

  “Why were you in care?” I ask. If she’s going to ask me, I’m going to ask her.

  “My mom died from a heroin overdose, and my dad just wasn’t equipped to raise a little girl on his own. He got DFS called on him for leaving me unattended one night when he went out with his buddies. DFS, of course, gave him rules and guidelines after that, and they would show up for unexpected visits to inspect our house, which always failed. I was eventually taken from him and placed in care.” She takes a big breath, releasing with a heavy sigh. So much hurt and despair was let out with that breath it causes goose bumps to plaster my sk
in. That right there is why I don’t want to remember my past.

  “Where is your dad now?” I interrogate further.

  “In Hell for all I fucking care.” She shrugs, pursing her lips. I wince from her harsh words, curious why she feels such ill toward him. “He would come by and see me every other weekend at first, but eventually, he stopped showing up. When DFS tried to contact him, he was nowhere to be found.”

  I nod and shimmy myself closer so I can wrap my arms around her in comfort. If Jayden’s anything like me, she doesn’t want pity for her life. Nor does she want anyone to give her a sympathetic look and say they understand what she’s going through, because nobody knows a damn thing about how it feels or what you’ve been through. I don’t know Jayden, but I know we’ve both been through more devastation than either of us deserved.

  “Fuck them all,” I whisper. “We’re free now.” I laugh, giving her a squeeze. The words leaving my mouth give me an ultimate high of happiness.

  “Fuck yeah, we are.” She giggles, laying her head on my shoulder as the driver starts the bus. Finally.

  TWO

  CHARLIE

  Behind my eyes, I see it: the intricate etching of dark ink, each feather given such malicious detail my body instantly chills from fear. My heart picks up a pace so hostile I feel it may combust behind my ribcage any minute. My eyes clench, trying to wake myself up from the nightmare that’s in full-force, but it won’t work. It never does.

  My eyes travel up the rigid back holding dark wings that haunt my dreams. I don’t know what they mean, but I know I fear them. A piece inside me knows they’re from the day I lost my mother. A day of dread, filled with terror, desperately wanting to escape… But I want none of it.

  The dark wings suddenly pull from the skin, sweeping off the toned back and surrounding me like a million little blood-seeking bats. I shake my head, jerking from side to side to get away from the death they seek—mine—but I can’t escape the ravenous hold they have on me. Surrounding me one by one, until I see nothing but pure black.

  “NO!” I scream. My eyes snap open and find the bus driver clutching his chest and falling into the seat next to us with a startled look across his face.

  “What the fuck?” Jayden startles, nearly falling from her seat next to me.

  “I’m- I’m sorry,” I stutter, out of breath, my heart beating hard against my chest.

  “We’re here, ladies. Please gather your things and get off,” the driver instructs, shaking his head. Irritated, he makes his way back up the aisle.

  “Dude, what the fuck was that about?” Jayden’s brows narrow with concern.

  “Nightmares. I get them a lot,” I whisper, standing from my seat which is damp from sweat.

  “Umm, Charlie? Did you leave your bag unzipped?” Jayden asks, looking across the aisle at the seats holding our luggage.

  “No,” I answer hesitantly. I crawl over her, seeing my suitcase unzipped and my things spilled from it.

  “No. No. No,” I whisper, shuffling through the clothes to find the envelope that contained my cash gone.

  “What?” Jayden asks, looking from my bag to me.

  “My money is gone,” I grit with disbelief. I look around the seat as if it had fallen out, but I know as well as anyone that someone stole it. How could I be so stupid to just leave it unattended?

  “Shit,” Jayden whispers angrily. “Did you see anyone over here?” Jayden hollers to the front of the bus at the driver. The man runs his hand over his bald head and shrugs before looking out the front of the windshield.

  “What are we going to do?” My voice cracks with emotion. “Shit!”

  Jayden shoves her hand down her shirt and pulls out a wad of cash.

  “I always keep my money close. We’ll use mine to find a place.” She shrugs, stuffing it back in her bra.

  “I worked so hard. Not only did I save that money, but I also kept it hidden from bratty little shits who lived with us, only to have it stolen in a matter of minutes,” I mutter under my breath, running my hands through my hair in distress. “How much do you have?” I look at her with weary eyes, nervous at the number she’s going to say.

  “About seven hundred.” She shrugs.

  I close my eyes, my bottom lip trembling. Fuck!

  “How are we going to live? That money was…” I pause, emotional. “Our everything,” I cry.

  “We can find something for seven hundred, even if it’s a shitty hotel for a couple nights,” Jayden suggests, reaching over and giving my arm a reassuring squeeze.

  Tears fall from my eyes as I glance over at Jayden. We have to figure out a way, have to stay strong and keep moving forward, because going backwards is not an option. I worked too hard to get here to turn back now. Most importantly, I need to stay strong for Jayden. If she sees how fucked we could possibly be, she may panic. And having us both panic will only detour us from finding a solution. I straighten my back and wipe my tear-stained cheeks.

  “We’ll just have to find jobs quickly,” I reassure.

  “Right,” Jayden agrees, a big smile etched across her face. I nod, taking a big breath to calm my racing heart.

  We travel down sidewalk after sidewalk, the blistering heat causing a stream of steady sweat to cascade down my back and between my breasts. And don’t get me started on the swamp ass I got going on downstairs. We pass casinos, little stores, and some streets even have men with hot dog carts. Even with the unbearable heat, the smell of the hot dogs makes me want to throw myself over the cart and scarf as many as I can into my mouth. It wouldn’t be pretty, but I’m not one for class.

  “Charlie, what’s the plan?” Jayden yells out, her voice giving away how exhausted she is.

  “I need to get a newspaper,” I explain, looking every which way for one of those machines that holds them. Do they even make those anymore?

  “So just go into a store and buy one,” she complains. Jayden hands me a few bills from her bra and purses her lips. The heat is making us irritated. Hopefully, we find something soon. I side-step off the sidewalk into a little dumpy convenience store that doesn’t have air conditioning. I grab a water and newspaper then meet Jayden outside.

  “Here, see if you can find something.” I hand her the paper while I chug the cool water down. I literally moan from the cold spring liquid splashing down my dry throat.

  “Ah-hah!” Jayden exclaims, poking the newspaper. “I found a place that’s only charging six hundred a month. Hopefully it’s still available.”

  “Is there anything cheaper?” My eyebrows rise. That amount’s high considering we still need food and furniture.

  “That’s the cheapest by a landslide, and it says partially furnished.” She scrunches her nose, eyeing the paper.

  “All right, let’s do it then.” What other choice do we have?

  “I’m going inside to pee and ask the store clerk where this address is. Then we can go,” Jayden explains, folding the paper and handing it to me.

  I lean against the hot brick making up the small convenience store, watching the sun dissipate behind the large buildings. Their vibrant lights flicker on to light the way for the life that stalks through the night.

  “Let’s go. We head this way.” Jayden points to the left, away from the lights and down some back alley.

  “This looks promising,” I sneer, following Jayden with my suitcase trailing behind me.

  Eight blocks later, I start finding more and more people walking by with college logos on their shirt.

  “We must be close,” Jayden pants, out of breath. “The clerk said it is near the college.”

  “This bag is getting heavier, I swear!” I complain, shuffling it from hand to hand.

  “I think this is the last block, right across this street,” Jayden replies, pointing toward some rundown buildings. Between us and the buildings sits a little café. It’s small and painted white, the roof flat. It’s cute, but it’s like the stepping stone into the ghetto. On this side of the café, the bl
ocks are made up of little businesses and stores that eventually lead off to the heart of Vegas. The other side, which Jayden is pointing to, has grimy rundown buildings with graffiti sprayed on the sides.

  Following Jayden across the way, I skim the crowd at the café and land on a pair of handsome eyes. So handsome, I stop walking.

  Sitting at a table full of sexy men is a short, blond-haired guy, his face hard and chiseled. My God, his arms are pumped with muscle as his hands flex around a brown football. My core blossoms with incredible need as I eye his toned arms, and what I assume is a matching hard chest beneath his jersey.

  “Charlie, let’s go!” Jayden yells, making me realize I’ve been standing here like an idiot, staring at a sexy stranger in a café. The guy smirks at me and tosses the football in the air, breaking eye contact.

  I tuck my hair behind my ear, giving a small smile in return before walking forward. I suddenly crash into something, the impact throwing me back on my ass hard.

  “Shit!” I shout with pain.

  “Fuck!” roars a male voice standing above me. My eyes jolt upward to find a broad-shouldered man in a black suit, holding a broken plastic cup in one hand with coffee spilled all down his front. My stomach tangles into a bundle of tight knots, and my hands tremble from the strength and power this man radiates. Oh, shit.

  “I am so sorry!” I stand up and start frantically brushing at the man’s very expensive-looking suit. My God, it’s like rubbing a rock. His body is so toned and strong beneath my palms, which isn’t helping me get a grip on myself. My eyes skirt up his arms, finding the fabric stretched tight around his biceps and causing me to swallow the lump forming in my throat. The knots in my stomach crawl into a fit of butterflies, and my heart races. He’s handsome—intimidating, really. The way his toned body and squared shoulders take up the space takes my breath away. His jaw is chiseled to perfection with scruff claiming it perfectly. I bite my bottom lip to keep from moaning.